It's okay not to feel okay

We’re sitting at a table in a cozy restaurant, maybe a bit too crowded given what’s about to happen, but we try not to let it bother us. We’re engrossed in sharing our life stories, when, between courses, the conversation takes a deeper turn.

Sara, with her playful bob and bright eyes, becomes the center of our attention.

Who is Sara?

Sara is one of those people who captures your attention the moment she walks into a room. Tall, with a natural elegance, she radiates a strength that seems unbreakable. When she speaks, she moves her slender fingers with grace, and you’re simply mesmerized. Sara is young, with a degree in a scientific field—engineering, to be precise—and if that weren’t enough, she’s also incredibly funny.

But Sara also suffers from fibromyalgia.

Sara: “A few years ago, when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I started losing control of my life. The physical pain was just the beginning. Then came the panic attacks, followed by depression. Every day was a battle, yet I didn’t want anyone to know. I learned to hide everything behind a smile. I never imagined that a physical illness could have such a devastating impact on my mind. I was scared of everything—going out, working, even getting out of bed. It felt like being utterly exposed.”

Marianna then asks her: “How did you cope with all of that? It can’t have been easy.”

“It wasn’t,” Sara continues, “and it still isn’t entirely. At first, I tried to hide it, especially at work. I had to be strong, had to prove to everyone —and myself— that I could handle it. But in reality, I couldn’t appreciate the good things anymore, while the bad things felt like insurmountable obstacles. I started calling my general practitioner more and more frequently. What I was going through was debilitating. I couldn’t bear to be around people.”

“And then?” I ask softly.

Sara smiles: “Then came the moment I had to break down. It was inevitable. I couldn’t pretend anymore. One day, driving home from work, I wanted to let go of the wheel—and of life. I had a cloud in my mind, a dark cloud filled with frequent, rational thoughts of suicide.”

At that moment, the restaurant around us seemed to disappear.

“My general practitioner was no longer enough, and I began attending the Mental Health Center in Udine as a day hospital patient,” Sara continues. “There, I found people who understood me, who made me feel I wasn’t alone. I started a journey, a complex one, where I encountered both shallow and deep potholes. I saw my independence fade, and I often felt like I could fall at any moment, as if I were constantly teetering on the edge.”

---

Have you ever wondered if there’s a Sara at your workplace? Maybe in the office right next to yours?

The latest edition of the AXA and Ipsos Mind Health Report highlights an increase in psychological distress among Italians. In 2023, 28% reported experiencing issues like anxiety or depression, compared to 22% in 2022.

The most worrying data point is the lack of awareness around mental well-being and the importance of seeking professional support. Additionally, there’s been a rise in self-diagnosis and self-management of mental health issues, which can hinder the healing and recovery process.

Moreover, 51% of Italians believe that companies are not doing enough to protect employees'mental health. At the same time, many consider mental health support as a key factor in their decision to stay with a company, especially younger employees!

It is crucial that companies develop mental health support policies, such as Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) and manager training to recognize and address these issues. These conditions not only reduce an employee’s ability to concentrate and perform, but they also increase the risk of burnout, further damaging the workplace environment.

Investing in mental health is not only an ethical responsibility but also a smart strategy: improving employees' mental well-being can lead to a significant boost in productivity and a reduction in costs related to absenteeism.

Current estimates suggest that mental health-related issues cost European companies €136 billion. This figure is unlikely to decrease, especially considering that, by 2030, depression is expected to become the leading cause of disability in high-income countries.

---

“And how do you feel now, Sara?” Marianna asks, her voice filled with the warmth of someone who deeply cares about her friend.

“There are better days and worse days,” Sara admits, “but I’ve learned to understand myself. I know when I need to stop, I know when to ask for help. I’ve realized that I don’t have to prove anything to anyone - not to colleagues, not to work.”

Sara concludes by talking about her company: “Fortunately, they allowed me to change roles, reducing travel and lowering my exposure to stressful situations. My colleagues have learned to respect my ‘no’s, to reschedule meetings when it’s not the right time, and most importantly, to recognize the signs when necessary.”

And Marianna and I? We don’t feel the need to say anything more. No words are needed now. I’ll leave you with these lines from Marracash:

“I’m searching for a balance that holds me together

You ask me why I don’t love myself

I’ll start tomorrow, you make that face

You should know by now

That I’ve gotten good at falling.”

Chiara Pontoni

Sustainability Manager, Gesteco